Thursday, February 8, 2007

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...

...I'm curious about Valentine's Day,
Are you?

I know that Valentine's Day is not until next week, but seeing as it is a slow week here at the office, I decided to do a little digging. And as usual, my potentially-untruthful yet fave source pulled through again. Wikipedia defines this Hallmark holiday as "the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other; sending Valentine's cards, candy, flowers, or donations to charities, often anonymously." Hmm...they left out covering an old shoebox in red construction paper, stickers, doilies, and candy hearts, then debating for hours whether to give the best 3" x 2" Looney Tunes card to the best friend or to the crush.

Let's have a little history lesson, shall we? Compliments of Wikipedia, of course.

Valentinius of Alexandria (c. 100 - c. 153). Besides having an unfortunate name, he was an influential Gnostic teacher and a candidate for Bishop of Rome in 143 AD. (Gnostic = early Christian sect of super smart men who thought they were the shit.) In Valentinius's teachings, the marriage bed assumed a central place in his version of Christian love. SHOCKING! Well, not to us, but it was certainly a revolutionary idea to other people. These other people must have been like my grandparents, who to this day refuse to turn in their 1950s-style twin beds for a queen size.

Fertility Festivals in Ancient Greece. I know we are all jealous of those ancient Greek hornballs. The middle of February was associated with love and fertility, so it was an especially saucy time. And in ancient Rome, February 15 was Lupercalia (which I guess was also some fertility festival...or should I say ORGY.)

Volantynys Day in the Middle Ages. The first recorded association of Valentine's Day with romantic love is in Parlement of Foules (1382) by Geoffrey Chaucer:
For this was on seynt Volantynys day
Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese [chose] his make [mate].

This poem was written (and poorly spelled!) to honor the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II of England to Anne of Bohemia. A marriage treaty was signed on May 2, 1381. The two lovebirds were married eight months later, when they were both about 14 (!) years old. (I was still getting lost on the way home from school when I was 14. Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind.)

On the liturgical calendar, May 2 is the saints' day for Valentine of Genoa. This St. Valentine was an early bishop of Genoa who died around AD 307. Some idiots along the way incorrectly assumed that Chaucer was referring to February 14 as Valentine's Day. However, I don't know about you, but I would think that mid-February is a highly unlikely time for birds to be mating in frigid cold England.

The High Court of SEX. Using the language of the law courts for the rituals of courtly love, a "High Court of Love" was established in Paris on Valentine's Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. Judges were selected by women on the basis of a poetry reading. (The French would do it like this, those maniacs.) The earliest surviving valentine dates from 1415. It is a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife. At the time, the duke was being held in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt.

Valentine's Day Makes It to the States. Like scurvy, TB, and bad teeth, the idea of Valentine's Day was probably imported into North America in the 19th century by British settlers. The first mass-produced valentines of embossed paper lace were produced and sold shortly after 1847 by Esther Howland of Worcester, Massachusetts. Her father operated a large book and stationery store, and she took her inspiration from an English valentine she had received.

V-Day Today. In the second half of the 20th century, people went nuts. They had disposable income, so they wasted it on the usually-pointless exchange of cards. Other gifts entered the picture too--roses, chocolate, condoms, etc. In the 1980s, the diamond industry began to promote Valentine's Day as an occasion for giving jewelry. (DeBeers family, you are too smart! No wonder we banned you from this country and forbid you from ever returning!)

And here is a final thought for all of you now bored with learning about Valentine's Day: approximately EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT of all Valentine's cards are sent BY WOMEN! Are you surprised?

1 comment:

Sean Carter said...

Hey this is really an interesting post..and very informative too...thanks sharing info...well hey on this note i'd also like you to visit my blog on Valentines Day sometime and check out some more interesting stuff that i've posted there..and while you're at it do share your thoughts!!!